This little story has been a blog in the making for some months now. It started out as a thank you note for a very special and much appreciated group of men. It was a way for me to express my gratitude – something a little more than just the verbal ‘thank you’ I had repeated many times and the supply of coffees and banh mi’s.

This is a story about a different kind of boy’s club!

Writing this is a way of acknowledging something that is likely to have gone unnoticed or at least be underestimated. The value of what I am about to share is something these men themselves were largely unaware of – until they received their note of thanks!

But I am not just sharing this to send accolades their way. I am sharing it because I know how important it is to show case, promote, encourage and believe in the good stuff and now more than ever we need to show boys and young men just how awesome they can be! 

This is a note dedicated to the group of 6 men I affectionately call the 228 Fit Out Crew:

They are a group of friends, some who have been connected for more than 30years.
They are supportive.
They step up in a crisis.
They are always there to help each other out – often going above and beyond.
They check in on each other, properly (mostly) and regularly (usually).
They expect nothing in return.
They do what’s needed even when it’s not their responsibility or their problem – they aren’t just there for the good times.

Is there banter – yes!
Do they enjoy ‘winding’ each other up – yes!
Is there sports talk – oh my goodness, so much – yes!
Are there jokes, pranks, silliness, sarcasm, nights out, ridiculous memes, and all sorts of other nonsense – yes, yes, yes!

Do they make mistakes, absolutely, they are human after all.
Do they annoy the women in their lives at times, you bet ya!

But that’s not what I am talking about…

I’m talking about their mateship, their comradery, their connection and their bond.
They laugh together, they ‘grrrr’ together, and I know there’s been a tear or two shared.
They party, play sport, go to live music, attend festivals and events together.
They’ve travelled together, they hang out with each other’s kids and work on each other’s houses or cars.
They have celebrated milestones and successes.
They enjoy all that life has to offer.
Their friendship is unique.
They are a different kind of boy’s club.

But like I said, my reason for sharing this isn’t just to publicly thank them, or to express my gratitude and write a little something nice about them.

It’s because more than ever before I believe we need to show case good male role models!

We need to highlight good men, imperfect men, doing good things.
We need to show case men being kind, respectful, compassionate and supportive.
We want men to lead by example and as the fantastic Dylan Alcott (a brilliant man and role model himself) has said ‘you can’t be what you can’t see’.

We need to do more:

Showcasing of male friendships filled with love, loyalty, good humour and real life.
Showcasing of men facing challenges together and mucking in to help each other and others out when things are tough or just need to get done.
Showcasing of men who are communicating and expressing emotion in healthy and positive ways – being vulnerable and comfortable with it!
Showcasing that men having fun can mean all sorts of things not just beers and sport.
Showcasing men having healthy, safe, respectful, relationships with the women in their lives is important too…

(A quick note about the 228 Fit Out Crew’s spectacular women … they too are unconditional supporters – enabling, encouraging, accepting this groups bond, the time they spend together, recognising its importance, without which it wouldn’t be possible).

I saw this group work together as a team in a way that was just wonderful, beautiful even.
I saw clear, positive communication. A shared commitment, consistently showing up to get things done! There was no ego. No drama. No clashing. Just good problem solving and shared decision-making! Time given and lots of laughing!

And for absolutely no reward!!

So…

What kind of men do we want boys to become?
What kind of men do we want to project as ‘normal’?
What kind of men do we want showcasing masculinity?

These guys aren’t perfect (no one is) but they are great… especially as mates… so it’s not a bad place to start if you ask me.

They truly are a different kind of boy’s club!

So, this is for You… the 6 members of the 228 Fit Out Crew… Thank you, keep doing what you do and being who you are!